The Unfortunate Ikemen
by bluebutterfly22
Summary: Admit it, all the boys in KnB are good-looking in some way. But all of them have a bit of... weird things about them. This story depicts KnB Boys' non-existent love lives.
1. Chest Binders

**FINALLY! THE INTERNET"S BACK! My fingers were itching to type something... Ooh the horrors of not having internet...**

**So here's a multi-chapter fic. You can give suggestions on who should be next. But after every 2 chapters, I'll be having a game...**

**So let's start!**

_**Bluebutterfly22 does not own Kuroko no Basket. It is owned by Tadatoshi Fujimaki. I am not making any kind of profit from this story; its solely for use of entertainment**_

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"Ano... Aomine-sama, please go out with me!", a curly brown-haired girl said with her face down from embarrassment as she offered a box of chocolate to Aomine Daiki, who was busy picking his nose.

Aomine, whose pinky finger is in his nose, looked at the girl with a bored expression. Then he bluntly said,

"Nah. Your tits are too small. Try again when you're at least an F-cup"

After saying that, he walked away casually as if nothing happened. The girl stood there, frozen, unable to utter any words as her jaw dropped. As her mind finally came back, she bit her lip and walked away...

_A day later..._

_"Oh man! Look at 'em tits!" _, Aomine thought as he stared at a fellow student's chest. He scanned the other teen from toe to head and noticed something...

It was the girl from yesterday!

_But how? It doesn't look like a foam! What sorcery is this?_

The girl stopped in front of Aomine and said, "I was wearing a chest binder yesterday, Aomine-kun. And you know what? I realized I don't like boob freaks"

And with that, Aomine was left standing frozen with his jaw dropped as the evil contraption called 'chest binder' was scarred on his mind


	2. Kuroko no BUSTED

**Ha! I'm back~~~ Anyways, here's chapter 2!**

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"ano... Uchimura-san..", Kuroko said with a dead-pan face. Uchimura Mitsuko turned around, trying to search for the voice to no avail. Kuroko cleared his throat and said, "I'm right in front of you..."

Mitsuko jumped in shock to find Kuroko seemingly flashing in front of her. Her eyes widened as she asked, "y-you were here the whole time..?"

"Aah... yes..."

Mitsuko smiled at him apologetically as she said, "Sorry I didn't noticed you... Actually I didn't even knew you existed..."

Kuroko inwardly cried but on the outside, his face was still blank and stoic. He took a deep breath and took out a bouquet of flowers from nowhere and said, "i've been admiring you for a while... Will you go out with me?"

Mitsuko looked shocked for a moment before scratching her head and saying, "gomen, Kuroko-san. But I'm already with someone."

Kuroko almost pouted as he asked, "Who?"

Suddenly, Aomine walked by them, a bag of food in his hands. He stooped beside Mitsuko and put his arm around his shoulders as he said, "Hey, babe"

Mitsuko smiled at Kuroko and said, "Well... now you know..."

_Aomine-kun...You bastard!_

* * *

_In Seirin... _

"Ano... Mikage-san, please go out with me" Kuroko said, handing Mikage Aiko a bouquet of flowers. Mikage smiled and said, "Thanks but no thanks. I'm already with someone..."

Kuroko's eye almost twitched. Well this feels familiar.

"With who?"

Kagami walked by them and stopped beside Aiko. Kagami kissed he cheek, making Aiko blush. Kuroko glared at Kagami with the thoughts of:

_It happened again. Stupid lights!_


	3. Food

TIME FOR BAKAGAMI~~~

* * *

A girl looked at him with a tear-stained face. She grits her teeth as she says, "Kagami-kun...Choose between me or your food!"

Kagami looked at her then looked back down at the pile of burgers inn his hands before answering, "Food"

The girl slapped him hard on his cheeks, making the pile of burgers fall down. He fell to his knees and said, "No! Please don't go!"

The girl hugged him and said,"Of course I won't, Kagami-kun". The redhead shook off her hands and said, "Not you, the burgers!"


	4. Nice Guys

**UPDATE, UPDATE, UPDATE! Yo minna. I'm sorry I couldn't update; I needed some ideas and inspiration for this story. Would you mind suggesting? Oh and who do you want it to be next? Takao or Midorima? Its up to you.**

**Oh, and heads up cuz I'm not gonna updated ANY OF MY KUROBASU STORIES for a while. I need to update my utapri and tenipuri stories and rewrite a few ones which I have deleted before. But don't worry. Maybe I can squeeze it in my schedule. People have been PMing me from the UtaPri fandom asking where have I been. **

**But, enjoy~~ **

**Btw, the song I used is Nice Guys by Chester See. Don't comment about me saying 'not all girls like bad boys'. This is just for entertainment use. Sakurai is too nice for his own good.**

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_Because nice guys don't get anything in return..._

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Sakurai looked at his self in the mirror. He's good looking, right? He's a good boyfriend who will attend to every girl's need, a nice brother, and over-all, a very nice young man who doesn't have the heart to hit a fly.

_But that's where the problem lies, Ryou_

He hears a small voice. He looks down on his shoulder and saw a smaller version of him wearing a full BDSM get up with a black pitch fork, horns and a tail with an arrow-like end. Wait... is he hallucinating?

"Girls only like the bad boys! Do you know why Aomine has lots of chicks?"

"Bad boys...", he repeats slowly. The smaller him nods with a smirk, saying, "That's more like it!"

"No, Ryou-kun! Don't step to the dark side!", another voice pipes out. He looks down on his right shoulder where another version of him is sitting, tugging on some strands of his hair. This time, it was wearing a white robe with pure white angel wings and a halo. That's it, he's never drinking maple syrup again.

"A girl will like you just the way you are! You're such a nice little sweetheart", the Angel-Sakurai tries again. The mushroom head scratches the back of his head confusedly. Devil-Sakurai glares at Angel-Sakurai before saying, "Then how come Momoi-san dumped you?!"

"Girls like bad boys, Ryou. Trust me! You'll get laid all the time"

"No don't trust him. He's a devil. Momoi-san dumped you because she had feelings for Seirin's 11"

Well, Angel-Sakurai had a point. Momoi-san did keep blabbering about 'Tetsu-kun' all school year. But Momoi wasn't the first to dump him. Almost all girls at school had dumped him.

"Come on Ryou. The people at school think you have a daisy for a dick", Sakurai balled his fists and looked up with a determined expression. He will no longer be the shota mushroom of Touou. From now on, people will know him as...

The Babe Magnet

**XXXX**

"...Sakurai," Imayoshi-senpai called out when they met at the halls. The mushroom-head almost flinched and began his waves of apology until he remembered what Devil-Sakurai said.

_No apologizing like a sissy_

So, he slapped his senpai's back and said, "Sup, four eyes"

Imayoshi was taken aback not only by his appearance but also his new attitude. He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Sakurai, is there any problem at your home?"

Sakurai glared, eyes seemingly more narrowed because of the thick amount of eyeliner he had smeared on his eyes. When he got to school, everyone was whispering and staring at him. The oh-so innocent Ryou Sakurai with modest hair and big brown eyes looked somewhat akin to a drug dealer.

"No... its just that...", Sakurai paused for a while, closing his eyes for dramatic effect. By the time he had opened it, Momoi was standing beside the expectant Imayoshi. He opened his mouth and began to sing:

"_Nice guys finish last,  
That's why I'll treat you like trash,  
It's not what I really wanna do  
But, you only date bad guys so,  
I'll give it my best try to,  
Treat you the way you want me to"  
_

Imayoshi and Momoi raised an eyebrow. The pinkette was about to say something but her words were caught in her throat as they were magically teleported to a restaurant.

_"I never open the door,  
or pull out a chair.  
You can tell me how your day was  
but I don't really care."_

Momoi shivered as the cold air of the restaurant hit her skin. She let out a shaky breath and said, "It's cold!"

But then Sakurai glared at her and continued singing:

_"And if you ever get cold,  
you'll just have to hack it,  
Cause I'd be cold too  
If I gave you my jacket."_

Imayoshi clicked his tongue, feeling a tinge of annoyance creep up not only because Sakurai was singing shit but also because they were suddenly in a restaurant and they're going to be late for school. He sighed and said, "Let's just go.."

The brunette nodded, walking something similar to a way a douchebag (AKA Aomine) would. They stopped in front of a taxi cab. Momoi was about to open the front door when Sakurai continued singing:

_"Like WHOA, you ain't sittin up front,  
Front is for the homies you can sit in the trunk."_

The large chested teen scoffed as the jerk of a mushroom pointed to the trunk. Imayoshi smacked him on the back of the head, feeling really pissed off. He practically had to shove him inside the car, sitting beside Momoi.

It was quiet for a while before Sakurai sang again,

_"I never answer my phone,  
Whenever you call it  
And when the waiter brings the bill  
I never reach for my wallet."_

This time, Momoi slapped him, leaving an angry red mark on his face. Sakurai looked dazed for a while before continuing singing in a softer tone,

"_But behind the scenes she means the world to me._

_Wanna tell her that she's beautiful, and show her that she's loved._  
_Hold her hand when she's scared, tell her how much I care..._  
_But that won't win her heart BECAUSE..._

_Nice guys finish last,_  
_That's why I'll treat you like trash,_  
_It's not what I really wanna do._  
_But, you only date bad guys so,_  
_I'll give it my best try to,_  
_Treat you the way you want me to."_

Imayoshi rolled his eyes and said, "Momoi, just fucking say yes to him..."

_~Owari~_

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**_Yup. My brain just died. Forgive me for the sucky chapter. Shoot me if you want to_**


End file.
